Letters

(17 June 2010, Cebu)

I still have your letters. Although it stabs my heart to see them, I find it uneasy to let them go. I haven’t read them for a long while. I know they contain our once shared dreams now toppled by time and fate.

I have always looked forward to those exchanges. I felt so alive with the thrill that a letter would be waiting for me. And I always wondered what color and design the stationeries would have.

Just Like in High School

(29 June 2010, Cebu)

There was a slight drizzle when I woke up early this morning. And there were many puddles of brown water outside – remnants of the heavy rains last night. I decided to bring my umbrella to work.

The early morning smell of the wet grasses, the cool breeze of the air, and the soft, slippery feel of rain-soaked soil on the sole of my shoes transported me to many years ago. I remembered what it was like to go to school in June. Like today, it was difficult to get out of bed. I just wanted to snooze all day.

Reflections on Fear and Pain

A few days ago, a fellow blogger wrote to me about his reflections on fear and pain. It somehow prompted me to write one for myself and as a comment to his letter.
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Fear is a necessary evil.

As we grow older, our consciousness of the “I” in us also grows. We come to grips with the intricacies of life, and we become more aware that we are vulnerable mortals. We experience pain. We realize death as an eventuality. Most of all, we come to know day by day that life has far too many uncertainties. And so, the innate instinct in all of us animate beings that has been passed down from generation to generation is slowly being awakened and the instinct is called self-preservation.

The Silent God

(20 October 2007, Mandaue)

What if God goes through all the efforts of showing His omnipotence to all non-believers?

What if God manifests Himself to those who doubt His existence?

Sometimes I wish God would answer every prayer with a resounding “yes” or a firm “no.” Sometimes I wish heaven would open and God would show His face and His resplendent glory. Sometimes I wish that God’s presence and guiding hand become apparent in all things.

But then, what would life be if everything that man does is subject to God’s tangible approval? If God is not silent, many of the things we believe in will not make sense. Man will no longer be free. Love will no longer be forthcoming. Faith will no longer be the evidence of things unseen.

© COOLWATERWORKS, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to COOLWATERWORKS and A Series of Duration with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Just Around the Bend

(19 October 2007, Lapu-lapu)

I have always been uneasy with goodbyes. Farewells always leave pangs of pain and discomfort. But is seems that life has decided to serve a few of these entrees that I am not about ready to take. I needed a serving of grace and the heavens obliged too long…

I lost my grandmother. For about a year, I silently mourned. I stormed heavens with musings that bordered rebellion and disbelief. Grace may have descended late but it forced me to silence and to listen. And I listened well…

I did not ask for another helping but the heavens seemed so kind to serve another one. Though the serving was not a mortal end, I still find it hard to accept. And I was not able to say goodbye.

Through my journeys, I met many people along the way. Some of them became good friends who traveled and accompanied me in the track I chose to tread. Through the tempests and the rough roads they made my journey easy, bearable and worthwhile. They enriched my experience and widened my appreciation of life’s daily joys.

I always thought that I could be with them all throughout the journey. I became too fond of making the mistake of thinking that they would always take the bend on the road with me. But not far from the bend there is always a crossroad. Then I would slowly and agonizingly realize that each of us has a path to take. Each of us would always remain separate despite being together. Each of us hears a different beat and we march to that music within us.

I think that I am an important player in the giant orchestra of life. As important as everybody, I must play my own solo piece in taking my path at the crossroad. We are bound to take our own roads where the music leads us. Although we part, we can’t really say goodbye for when we come to life’s full circle, we will meet again.

I cannot and will not forget them. Though they have left, something beautiful remains – the music we played together still echoes in sweet refrains.

© COOLWATERWORKS, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to COOLWATERWORKS and A Series of Duration with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Pencils

(22 December 2006, Lapu-lapu)

Of all the writing instruments, none is more profound than the pencil.

If one is not satisfied with the form, slant or curve of the characters laid down on paper, one could always begin anew. Erasing those graphite marks is not a problem.

With the recent advances in pencil technology, we see different lead classifications: HB, 1H until 8H, 1, 2, 3, etc… Then, we have the mechanical pencils. I just wonder why the erasers of these mechanical types suck… So I stick with the old faithful eraser bar. And these mechanical pencils always require a batch of refills. Who knows when those fine leads will run out, or even break?

So it is with life… We write the scripts of our lives. In aspects where we want to have a different scenario, we could always erase the script, and begin anew. Just like the pencil types, we approach life in many different ways as we go through the different stages, as we face different situations.

The old eraser is just like the faith we cling into, graces that heaven outpours, and Love unlimited. We may have different formulas but faith always assures us, graces always fill us and Love always cleans us and allows a new sheet for us to again write on.

We must always have the zest and perseverance with our struggles. As such, we need extra helpings of hope from people around us for us to always have that reload of gusto and encouragement. No matter how rough the course (even if sometimes we succumb and break) as long as we have hope, like the mechanical pencils, we would always have reloads and refills.

We are all called to erase those unwanted scenes and terms in our script. We may have used ink in our writings in the past. No worries! All we need are clean sheets of paper. Begin anew. And this time make sure to use pencils…

© COOLWATERWORKS, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to COOLWATERWORKS and A Series of Duration with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.